Summer Homeschooling - Backrooms Week

BACKROOMS WEEK -

Chayton is teaching this week, but I was able to get together a Backrooms meal to represent the weirdness of all things clipping. 

Backrooms food

A Backrooms Dinner:

Add-Ons:

• Almond Ice Cream
• Skinned Bread (Pork Rinds)
• Chocolate Sludge (Chocolate Pudding)

Almond-Marinated Hound Rib

Preparing the meat:

You want very fresh meat, so get the marinade into the pan before you kill the Hound. Here's how to make it:

• 1 cup of Almond Water (or Cured Almond Water)
• 1 teaspoon of brown sugar
• Liberal Crimson Oil

If you have a Hound ready, great! If not, start screaming. A Hound will probably come to try to kill you soon. Then, take your spear and stab it through the heart. This will get it nice and juicy for when you eat it. You can get a lot of meat off of it, but we won't be cooking those today. Instead, we will be curing it. Get some nice rib meat and get it into the pan. It'll marinate in its own blood as well as the marinade you made earlier. Flip it occasionally and make liberal use of herbs and spices. Serve with some vegetables. ALWAYS cook until Well Done, as consuming it while Rare or Medium-rare has a 40-50% chance or higher of infecting you with Hound Virus.

Grilled Chicken

Sadly, actual Frontrooms chickens don't exist in the Backrooms. "Chickens" are actually shape-shifting alligator void monstrosities, but you can still cook them.

Prepare the following:

• 1 Tablespoon of Smoked Crimson Fern (Tastes similar to Frontrooms Paprika)
• 1 Tablespoon of Crimson Oil
• Some Minced Garlic from the Snackrooms
• 1 Tablespoon of Almond Water
• 1 Teaspoon Crimson Leaf

Blend this into a marinade and refrigerate it. Then, head to Level 3 with your Plasma Rifle. Take left turns whenever you can, and eventually a "chicken" will come to attack you.

NOTICE: IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU KEEP TRACK OF TIME. IF YOU SPEND MORE THAN 24 HOURS IN LEVEL 3, YOU WILL DIE.

Once you see the "chicken", immediately blast it with the plasma rifle until you're sure it's dead, and then hack what's left of it into pieces. This is insurance, since chickens are some of the most dangerous entities. After you've killed it, put on latex gloves and a mask. Cut choice pieces of meat, and then get them at least 8 meters from the rest of the body. Make deep incisions into the meat, and then boil it in Almond Water. This will force the venom out of its venom glands. Discard the Almond Water and the rest of the body in a container clearly marked as a bio-hazard. Then, take the meat to your grill. Heat the grill up to at least 500 degrees Fahrenheit and start grilling the meat. Douse the meat in almond water, and then spread the marinate over it. The meat will have an amazing consistency and taste but ensure that you extracted the venom before biting into it, as it is incredibly potent.

Pizza

Ingredients:

• Tomatoes, Pepper, and Olives (from Level 92)
• Mushrooms (from Level 150)
• One bottle of Almond Water
• Mold
• Wormlings
• Wheat (from Level 10)
• Yeast
• Warm Water
• Entity Meat (A variety of different meats are suggested)
• Herbs (Optional)
• A bucket of seawater (from Level 7)

Preparation:

• Boil the water from the bucket of seawater to get salt
• Filter almond water through some mold.
• Mix the mold with boiled wormlings to get cheese (make sure to melt it)
• Get four cups of grain (from your wheat)
• Pour it in a blender for 2 minutes to get flour
• Grind and crush your olives
• Stir the olives and let it sit for a few minutes
• Filter the olive mush and siphon it to get olive oil
• Cut your meat, pepper, mushrooms, and remaining olives

Steps:

• Sprinkle the Yeast in warm water for 10 minutes
• Combine the your flour with salt, yeast, and olive oil
• Knead the mixture and put it in a bowl greased with olive oil and let it sit for a day
• Punch it and cut it into 4 parts
• Let it sit for 30 minutes
• Poke the dough and stretch it
• Add your tomato sauce, meat, pepper, melted cheese, mushrooms, and olives on the dough
• Bake it in a oven at 500˚F for 15 minutes
• If it's made correctly, it should taste good. (Might take a long time to make, but it's totally worth it)

Grilled Salmon

If you want to make the Grilled Salmon in the Backrooms, you'll need to travel to Level 585 to go and fish some salmon. You will also need a grill too. The salmon in the Backrooms is a bit different, eating it plain by grilling immediately, will cause it to taste very bland and bitter. But if you boil it in Almond Water, let it cool, then grill it, it will taste better, I recommend you add a few drops of Moth Jelly, a cut-up knob of garlic and a splash of lemon juice before grilling. After waiting for 10-15 minutes, while grilling it perfectly, Ta-da! You have yourself grilled backrooms salmon, which will nourish you very well. Since it contains Almond Water, it will restore your sanity, and have a salty-sour-sweet taste.

Mac & Cheese

Butter - Find any mold you can. Then, grab a container half full of Almond Water and leave the mold in there overnight. After that, put it through a coffee filter to filter out the Almond Water. Then take the same amount of body fat as the mold from an entity of your choice, preferably a Wretch, and mix it together in a mixing pot until the substance becomes creamy. Then leave it to solidify, preferably in a fridge.

Milk - The process of making milk is similar to the process of making butter, only instead of leaving it to solidify after mixing mold with entity body fat, you boil it using a saucepan and pouring a cup of Almond Water.

Cheese - Use the same technique to make mold as used for butter and milk, but instead of mixing it with entity fat, you get a handful of Wormlings and boil them in a saucepan while churning it until they reach a cream-like state. After this, you slowly churn the substance for ten minutes for it to be easier to pour. You then want to mix the mold with the Wormling substance vigorously until you have a cream-like substance. You then let it solidify, preferably in a fridge.

Flour - The process for substituting flour is very simple compared to the other ingredients. All you need to do is grab some wheat crops, preferably from Level 10, and put it in a saucepan half full with Almond Water. After half an hour, pour it onto a coffee filter and leave it out to dry. After drying, grind it until it turns into powder.

Pasta - Take two cups of your flour and 200 grams of any entity fat and mix it in a saucepan half full of Almond Water until it solidifies into the pasta you want. Then form the substance you have into macaroni shape.